Football Guff Award 2017

The inaugural Football Guff Award was in part inspired by our first ever winner, whose outburst following Scotland’s World Cup exit demanded to be celebrated in some way.

Winner: Gordon Strachan

Genetically we are behind. In the last campaign we were the second smallest, apart from Spain. We had to pick a team to combat the height and strength at set-plays. Genetically we have to work at things, maybe we get big women and men together and see what we can do.

Runner-up: ‘Big’ Sam Allardyce.

No stranger to gobbledygook, ‘Big’ Sam is often compared to fictional England manager, Mike Bassett. Here’s some peak Allardyce.

Being in the bottom three is irrelevant. What matters most is how many games you’ve played and how many points you’ve got.