Kick in the Pants 2014

This award draws attention to companies or organisations who need to communicate in plainer English.

The 2014 Kick in the pants winner is:

Apple's Jony Ive

Apple released an apparently great product in 2014 – the 'Apple Watch'. However, Apple's Senior Vice President of Design, Jony Ive, was a little too creative when it came to selling it.

Mr Ive managed to describe the knob on the side of the watch – a feature that's hardly an innovative introduction to watch technology – as a 'digital crown'. He also tried to pass off a standard SoC (system-on-chip) as a 'custom-designed chip that integrates many sub-systems into one remarkably compact module, which is then completely encapsulated to protect the electronics.'

He then suggested that a 'simple leather classic buckle references traditional watch vocabulary.' He was talking about a watch strap.

Apple products are so good that Jony Ive surely needed to say very little about the 'Apple Watch'. His insincere and horribly overblown salesmanship regarding their latest offering seemed particularly pointless. It's hard to believe that Apple has such little faith in their creations that they feel they have to talk gibberish about them. Maybe Jony Ive needs a new, shorter, clearer script.